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*Shine On Diamond Eyes*

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5/27/08 04:50 pm - DEMF

It was incredible, for the 6 hours we were there.
I already see an improvement in myself over last year. Success on self-quest!
The poi really help me loosen up and we discovered that we could link the poi to make a rope dart for Andy so all were happy! I blistered my fingers spinning so hard but it was wonderful. A real conversation piece, a handful of people borrowed my poi just to get the feel. =)
It rained around 9ish and all the sissies went underground so Andy and I danced in the rain by the fountain. I could almost feel the beat in the raindrops. I COULD feel the beat in my nose ring which made me realize it's the first year I've worn a ring to the festival.
We ran into Fleck and Heather, Mike and Toni, christina and hers, of course Tim, Charlene, Eric and Danielle also. Saw Kayla for a split second, Aimee from afar and faces from places. Spent majority of the night with my fella and Mallory Jade who is now deteremined to learn the Melbourne Shuffle. Check it out on YouTube, we all need to learn this dance.
That green apple I had was delicious.

Stopped by GreenThumb to see Scott and Mike for a split second, hung out on the fire escape, discovered a climbing partner in Mallory.

Annnd, I just woke up after 12 hours of sleep. MmmMmm

OY! And we've found a house! You just wait. =)

4/9/08 12:35 pm - When I find myself getting intimidated, I remind myself that everyone poops

What a crazy, amazing and exhausting shoot filed week this has been so far!!!!
Sunday was a lovely 8 hour shoot with some of my new friends who are fest/circus performers. We had Mia the bellydancer, Lex dancing with swords and thai fingers, Fleck the clown/mime juggling, Fleck the contact juggler and a fire performer (a.k.a.) the fabulous, flamboyant, heterosexual and sexy TimTV. All of this wonderousness took place at Theatre Bizarre and if you haven't been there, look it up. Then take the amount of amazing talent from that day and times it by three.
Following the shoot was one of those rare, in-depth, five hour conversations in dark place with TimTV. What a wise and delicious character he is!!! He is already an incredible addition to my life. He poops. ;)
Yesterday (that would be ah...Tuesday) I drove out to Charlotte (west of Lansing) to shoot with Reven who is a well-known, well-respected female nude model. I am shooting her, and several other models for my Adv. color final. Her friend, local photographer Erica Spencer, let me use her wonderful basement studio to do the shoot. Both were very welcoming and extremely fun to talk to. We ended up getting into an hour or so long discussion after the shoot and then we ended up carpooling into Lansing to lightpaint and scout a location for one of Ericas upcoming shoots. We spent about an hour and a half running through an apple orchard at night illuminating the trees with external flashes. Needless to say, I got home several hours later than I had planned but it was pure amazingness.
Today, I have plans to shoot 3 other models in the studio at OCC, also for my color final. One of them may be backing out, another is not responding to my confirmation so...hmmm.. At least that will leave me three hours to shoot one girl. After yesterday, I don't know if I even need to shoot anymore, I have so much to work with already. But I love this project and I'm likely going to carry it beyond just my final project.
I work tomorrow and then practice/party at my instructors house in Auburn Hills.
Friday should be fun. Emergency CLICK meeting to discuss some internal issues, a job interview at Regeneration at 7:30 (Yes, the amazing thrift store in Ferndale ;) ) and then circus practice at the Dojo!!!!!

3/11/08 05:01 pm

Why do I never write when I am in a good mood? Aha! Because good moods are so few and far between.

Starting with the hard stuff, things always gets worse when you think they can't.

Shortly after X-mas, my uncle was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer, in part due to his own bad judgement. He badly burned his throat on hot coffee last summer and has spoken with a serious rasp ever since. Yet he continued to drink and smoke. Come January, he goes in for a check-up and they couldn't even get a tube down his throat because of the masses. He's currently undergoing both chemo AND raditation at the same time. At this point, he's deathly ill and can't have visitors because the common cold could do him in. On top of that, he'll never speak again.
Shortly after we heard about my uncle, my grandpa (his father) was diagnosed with lung cancer. Likely the result of a lifetime of heavy drinking and smoking as well. A week or so later, we learned that the cancer has spread and is terminal. Every weekend my dad goes down to Ohio to visit my G-pa and record his life history. Meanwhile, my mom spends every week frustratingly baking molasses cookies for my grandpa to enjoy which never come out chewy enough because he hardly has any teeth and lost his dentures when he was in the hospital.

In addition to this, my stomach aches and headaches have all come back in full so I am never feeling well. Doc suspects ulcers and has given me a samples of meds to correct the PH of my stomache. They help but when I get really stressed out, they don't do a damn thing.

On top of this, my car has been overheating for the past month or so. I could drive it to work before it got too hot but it started overheating after only a few minutes so it sat in Andy's driveway for weeks. We took it in yesterday for a diagnosis. We got the call today that it's going to cost $600 to fix and nobody has that kind of $ to spare on my POS car.

AND, to top it all off but not the last of my problems, my dad is losing his job. If he can't find a proper replacement, we have to sell the house.

School has been suffering because I m so unmotivated and all I want to do is sleep. Andy is the only person that can be there for me on a regular basis and my situation is affecting him. He's broke because he has to support me and put gas in 2 vehicles. I can't even consider a new job without a car.

Welcome to my life.

7/1/07 09:11 pm

Holy effing fuck.
Every muscle on my body from neck to calf is sore. In the good way, but it's dehabilitating.
Yesterday Andy and I drove up to Caseville for the fireworks, we left my house at 11a.m. but didn't get there until 4ish because we had a small GeoCaching roadtrip. If you've a lot of free time on your hands, you should check out: Geocaching.com. It's fucking addicting. I'm going big. =) We found 5 of 10 which I think is good considering we seek sans GPS. I want a GPS unit now SO bad. And people...my birthday IS next month... =)

We got to Caseville and decided to rent a jet ski. It was Andy's first time out!  He rode on back when I drove and I fucking kicked his ass! Though I couldn't throw him off no matter how hard I tried. We hit the most perfect wave and soared through the air 10 feet above the water. Perfect landing. FUCK. It was beautiful.

Yesterday feels like it lasted a whole weekend.
Boo to having to work in the morning. I'm sore as shit.

One of the best days ever. I could get sappy but I won't.

6/3/07 07:09 pm - Reflection

So much has changed in a year. 
I feel like my spark is back. A year ago I wasn't sure I'd ever find it again.  I am perky, enthusiatic and romantic again.
I'm a different person. A better person than I was before. I have far more confidence in myself than I ever believed I would. My skills and talents have been dramatically refined in just a years time. I've already made a name for myself, locally. People know of me and are literally begging to work with me. It's at once wonderful and a bit frightening. I'm always working. Freelance, but still working. Most of my time is spent in correspondence discussing shoots and ideas with new potential models or buyers. 
Apparently I'm no longer shy. I've made several new friends and many more new aquaintances that have opened new doors for me. Not just doors to opportunity but to influence as well. I'm seeing things that I'd never have seen or understood before. My world is a very beautiful place this year. No longer a prison.
Andy and I are so perfectly fabulous, I could never have dreamed of a happiness like he brings me. I can be sure of the stability of our relationship; there is never a need to doubt or worry. Sometimes I feel as though we are married, which simultaneously brings me joy and fear. I couldn't imagine a better man to spend my life with but at the same time, it worries me that I feel so strongly because I don't feel old enough yet to understand it. I fear the very unlikely possibility that he may someday hurt me in a way I'm not expecting.  Though this is nothing like the juvenile relationships of my past, I feel like a giddy 17rd old who's excited b/c she has a 22 year old boyfriend with a car. Andy and I are so much the same person that I feel (and I think he does) that sometimes words just aren't necessary.
On another note, I'm rarely home anymore. Home has become such a burden. I'm cut off from everything and everyone when I am home. My service sucks out here and my computer has VERY limited resources. I feel like I put everything on pause when I come here. I haven't the means to get anything accomplished. I simply do laundry and read. Yet here I am, every weekend droning on until I can return to my life in Utica.
In addition, my family and I have grown apart. I am not among my own anymore. My parents don't understand my passion for life and art. I'm finally getting them to acknowledge my work, and they talk about it on occassion now and then but they don't take it very seriously. They aren't artists or people with an appreciation for good art. They just aren't fully aware of the skills I possess. They can't relate to the essence of my inspiration. My parents are not deep, philosophical, earthy people. They're very urban in their ways, however much they lack technological advances.  
I'm starting to realize how very changed I've become and how much I like it.

6/1/07 02:51 pm - Google fun.

I suffer for my work [photos]Collapse )

CJ looks like she was trying to hold back her poop 
Andy looks like a muppet after his bath
Shanta looks like any other six-year-old, except there is an open wound on her head
Tony looks like he would corner you and rape you in a dark alley
Kitty looks like she spits venom
Courtney looks like a little homeless woman
Matt looks like he just swallowed a chihuahua
Erin looks like if you punched her face with a needle, liquid plastic or something would come out
Kara looks like she can't wait to eat that delicious kitten
April looks like Christina Aguilera, pushed over and trampled on by fans

5/23/07 12:34 pm - I suffer for my art

 I have dozens and dozens of bug bites all over my arms, legs and shoulders. Mosquito bites and little purple bites that don't itch but bled like crazy. That's what I get for shooting midday in a marshy area. The results were worth it but goodness, I'm going to be raw and scabby later!!! 
Ahhh! I almost think I need an antibiotic b/c of all the bug  venom under my skin right now. I have bruises from so many bites! They also bit a pre existing bruise and made it all white and blotchy. At least the ants didn't  attack...

5/19/07 12:41 pm - Easter is not yet over..

And not just because I'm still eating candy...

There were baby bunnifurs in my garden!
My mom spotted one and as I was looking I saw something move in the background and discovered two more! Then as I was searching for more I discovered one hiding behind a lonely bush. Yes, I took pictures. As I was coming back with my camera I found another crouching behind another lonely bush!  They were the size of achinachea (sp?), Ethan's rat. A.k.a. Palm sized. Everytime my dad came by on the mower they would scatter and I was scared for them! I poked a few and got them to run home but another kept running into the wall so I picked it up and tried to carry her to safety. She jumped and landed on her back. AH! She sat behind the stairs shaking with fear. I took one last picture and then helped her to safety at last. They were so precious! But now I fear that the mom might smell me on the one and not love her. =(

4/25/07 11:55 am - Keep my Daddy and my Kitty in yours thoughts! =(

Real life is just bad news and bad news...Collapse )

4/21/07 10:51 am - Oh, what fun!

Urban Dictionary:

Carly: Someone or something that gives you butterflys because of their sexy appearance, which gives you urges.
"Strokes carlys hair"

Shanta: A shit that you roll up in tin foil, poke holes in and hide somewhere either as a joke or to be mean to someone. Its is to stink and not not be found.
"Lets shanta that asshole's car"

Andy: Excessively endowed. Originally derived from the Greek, "Andreas", meaning manly.
"Word is, he's andy."

Kitty: a cute and hip Japanese term for someone who is crazy. This word is derived "kichigai" from Japanese.
"Why is that kitty yelling at his penny?"

Matt: Masturbating After Touching Titties or Masturbating After Touching Testicles.
"Fundo saw Matt at the strip club"

Mandie: A conservative lesbian. A lesbian who does not partake in lesbianoic sex and internet dates.
"Quit being a Mandie and have sex with the girl already".

Erin: One who finds socially awkward situations appealing ie, abortion & rape, but has the ability to maintain a cool social profile regardless.
"David is totally an Erin--he invited everyone to his house for a snuff film party and when some girl vomited everyone got excited and started high fiving David"

Tony: Synonym for the word “meathead.” Describes any muscular guy (or a jit who thinks he is) huge and only likes to look at his muscles in the mirror, drink protein shakes, and lift more than he can handle. Has trouble turning his thoughts into words. Found wearing sleeveless shirts or really tight ones. Carry around a gallon jug of water at the gym and have the mental capacity of a dead squirrel.
"There goes that effing tony again, buying more protein powder."

Google:

"Carly had just married fellow pop-superstar James Taylor a month before"

"Shanta and Lenny sit in the park with Shanta's many male admirers"

"Andy began his hike in the Grand Canyon National Park"

"Kitty creates unusual web page sets free just for you"

"Matt is a 30-year-old deadbeat from Connecticut who used to think that all he ever wanted to do in life was make and play videogames"

"Mandie the Peekapook, Queen of the Universe"

"Erin is buried in the editing room"

"Tony will sign the strip on the bottom right margin before he sends it to you"
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